It Hurts Too MuchI'll most likely see him tomorrow. Does it really hurt that much to be apart for that short time or is it the future that he was thinking of?
I'm lost. I love him with all my heart and I just seem to hurt him. Today I said 'I'm sorry' and he went into who I shouldn't be sorry for anything. That mostly its usually his fault. And its not. I don't know why he always sees himself as the bad guy. I nearly cried when he said those 4 words. And later I did, 5 tears escaped and more threatened to.
He calls me his Angel, But if being an Angel means that I have to stand to the side, seemingly above him like a real Angel high above in the heavens, far away from all other cares in the world. Then does it make me an awful person to not want to be the Angel?
I want nothing more than to be the 'one who is kind, pure, and beautiful'. But I can't stand on the sidelines of our life. I'm allowed to be sorry, hurt, and sad. Its only human. Why does he not get that. I love that he wants me to forever be happy, But that's not happening and the more he tries the more it seems to hurt him.
Am I Just crazy or is this true?
Why does my chooses never seem to be the right ones? I'm given the chose to either do as my parents say and come home on time or defy them and stay with him. I know that in the long run doing what my parents want is best, because I'll be allowed to see him. But I hate to leave his side. But if I stay my parents will never allow me to see him again. Does that only make sense to me? Its not that long till we can live together and be by each others sides always, so why does it seem to be torcher for him to wait that short time?
Thank you very much for listening to my ranting. Comments would be so helpful. But you don't have to. Peace~Love~Life Live
~Laugh~Love
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PEACE~LOVE~LIFE
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Behind every villain, there is good, because every villain is a hero gone wrong.
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Oh, there you are, Perry!
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